Every good mother and father wants to raise their kids well. If you are a dedicated parent, your ultimate wish is probably to see your children grow up with good character, positive disposition, and a resilient attitude. Although this is a common aspiration, not everyone knows how to do it properly. This is why kids of loving parents can sometimes grow up to be entitled, disrespectful, fragile, or gloomy.
After years of bestowing care and affection to a child, parents may start asking themselves, “What went wrong?” Since there is no specific formula on good parenting, it is hard to pinpoint the exact reasons why. Still, there must be something in the way a parent chose to raise their young ones that encouraged the unpleasant attitudes or behaviour. Some of the possible contributing factors may be the following.
You may love doing everything for your child.
If you spare your child from any duties and responsibilities, then you should also not expect him or her to grow up responsible and independent. To instill diligence and competence to your kids, one parenting tip is to try and be a lazy parent every once in a while. This is in no way persuading you to be negligent. It is just a reminder that good parenting does not mean you have to do everything for your child. So do not be afraid to assign tasks to your kids. Also, let them be accountable for their own actions because it will give them room for growth and learning.
You may be overprotective.
As a parent, you naturally want the ideal environment for your kids at all times. The problem is that this perfect situation does not exist. Moreover, consistently shielding children from any upsetting scenario will make it hard for them to cope with any difficulties that may come their way. Prepare your kids for the real world by presenting life for them in a realistic way.
This may mean allowing them to finish their own schoolwork by themselves even if it would result in a bad grade. Or allowing them to join a contest but telling them about the possibility of losing. It pays to remind them that even failing or losing can be helpful because of the lessons they will get from it. At home, it may not always be helpful to hide every disagreement or conflict because real relationships do not work that way. It may be better if they see the reality that even happy relationships encounter problems but then manage to peacefully resolve them in the end.
You may be praising your kids the wrong way.
Praises and rewards can be an effective motivation to develop good behavior in children. However, there are studies saying that giving compliments if done the wrong way can also be harmful to kids. For your praises to have a positive impact, you may want to examine the way you do it. Research has shown that it is better to praise a child for effort rather than ability. This is because you want to emphasize the need to put in the time and hard work for any endeavor. It can also make kids eager rather than afraid to take on challenging tasks.
Parenting can be a long and arduous journey. In the end, many moms and dads can only wish that they have done the best they could. If you always put your child’s interest at heart and focus on raising them to be good people, there is less chance that you can go wrong.
